2003-08-21 - 10:55 a.m.

I spent the day -- not just any day, but the day -- picking up shoe inserts, but I did it with grace, aplomb, and a plum I found in the breakroom fridge. Rotten fruit, I've found, serves well as a substitute coworker, and provides for much better conversation.

Possessing the staggering wit of Maya Angelou, or even a pond of stagnant water, it served as the perfect companion until I grew frustrated and hurled it at an awful comedian: myself.

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